Guest Post Submitted by The Loz.
Do you think a butterfly knows that its days are numbered?
The lifespan of a monarch butterfly is six weeks.
It starts off warm in its cocoon. Safe and secure, engulfed in it’s own world before fluttering out into reality.
Does it know?
Whenever he was around it was as if he was her cocoon.
Butterflies in the pit of her stomach danced happily from the electricity behind his touch. Soft lips, jaw intense. All of it no longer belonging to her.
She thought the chance of survival for butterflies inside her stomach were greater. The butterflies which soared when he was nearby. When their eyes or lips met.
He’s gone now.
So are the butterflies.
Now it’s nothing short of a travesty inside her stomach. It’s an empty pit. There’s just twists and turns. She’s unable to get off the never-ending roller coaster of emotion.
Will the tears dry?
Does a butterfly feel pain?
An end was something she’d considered in the beginning. She just thought it less and less possible as time went by. It seemed unlikely that a love like theirs could vanish.
Who knew the days could be so numbered?
Would she have said yes when she said no?
Would she have tried harder when she felt tired?
Does a butterfly value each flower it lands on just in case it could be the last?
Love works in such mysterious ways. It comes into your life with a major bang but fizzles out before your eyes. It doesn’t wait for you to strike a match and bring back the flame. It just dies without any option to revive it.
She thought it was just a bump in the road. But it was just the beginning of the end. As the tears became more violent reality sunk in deeper.
Sad songs unbearable, food undesirable and the memories unavoidable. When he walked away he took her heart with him. She gave it all up.
At the beginning she feared the fall but he reassured her. It was okay then. Now she has to climb back up to where she fell from. She needs to build back up the walls he pulled down. She needs to start all over again as if trusting the next person is foreseeable.
Do you think butterflies ever admire the beauty of life because time is so short?
Sometimes she thinks she hates him.
Was it all a lie? Did he plan for this to happen? Could he be this cruel?
All of these questions revolve in her head with no chance of answer.
No replies to the messages. No picking up her calls. If this was a movie he’d have showed up by now. How could he do this? He said ‘I love you.’
Maybe he did. Even still. Maybe that’s why he had to let go.
He wasn’t happy. Neither was she. She had tricked herself into a false sense of security. Love just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the strength they needed to make the fight worth fighting.
Keeping a butterfly trapped in a jar without room to fly is a travesty.
She might not understand it now. But this was her unknown fate.
Butterflies die with no regrets.
They don’t value more before they die. They just be. Each day is so enjoyable that an end isn’t worth considering as something to fear.
They are unaware to a fate that is certain. Even if they did know nothing they could do would prevent it. They fly like each day is a blessing, because it is. They’re never considering an end. No behaviour is changed because of an eventual outcome. Just like each and every day she spent with him. An end was always going to arrive. It was just a matter of when and how.
Each memory, moment and milestone with him is treasured gold. Nobody can take that from her.
It might be painful now but this was meant to happen. She just wasn’t in on the plan life already had mapped out for her.
Now it’s time to fly to the next chapter.
It’s time to find a new reason for butterflies in her stomach.
She’ll soar. She just doesn’t know it yet.
The Loz Blog is an inspiration, wellbeing lifestyle blog targeting young people who just wish life came with an Ikea instruction manual. Millennials just beginning university or those entering the scary trail to adulthood can come to The Loz Blog to read content that they can relate to or laugh along with. It’s all about the mines and marvels that come with being a 20-something-year-old. Click here to connect with The Loz.